September 17, 2020

Why We Judge…Ourselves

How did she get up there?

Or,

How did she get up there?

Which way do you think?

Are you curious as to how she climbed to the top, or are you judging?

It used to bother me when people judged me. I would dwell on it, thinking it had something to do with me. And guess what I learned?

It had absolutely NOTHING to do with me!

People judge you because

  • They don’t know you.
  • They don’t identify with your beliefs or values.
  • You threaten how they see themselves.

At different times in my life, I have been guilty of judging people myself for these three reasons. Now I am incredibly conscious of the whys, so I’ve worked on the how-not-to’s.

  • You know the saying, never judge a book by its cover. Yet we do that with people all the time. We are visual reactors. Get to know someone first. Connect by asking questions and finding common ground. You might be surprised to find you have more in common than you don’t!
  • When someone’s beliefs or values differ from yours, let it pique your interest instead of judging. It’s easier to be critical than curious. When we are critical, we can keep to ourselves. When we are curious, we have to open up and be a bit vulnerable. Start conversations and ask questions. It’s interesting to learn how others think and feel. How boring would life be if every single person was the same?
  •  When we judge someone for their success, we are calling out our own weaknesses. In other words, we are jealous. From the outside looking in, this kind of judging is the worst. I have been guilty of judging for this reason, so I get it. But do you want to know how I overcame this one? I took inventory. I asked myself, “If so and so has what I want, then what do I need to do to have/be or do that myself?” When someone accomplished something that alluded me, I admired them. I complimented them. I got inspired and curious and asked questions. Instead of comparing myself to them, I used their success as a compass for MY success!

Be bitter, or get better? You be the judge!

Cheers to seeing you at the top!

Mindset, Personal Development , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Susan Wheeler
About Susan Wheeler
Mom of 4😊7 grands❤️ultra runner 🏃‍♀️natural health strategist🍇writer 🌶organic farm owner🥕

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